scared shitless – the dump that saved my life

* warning: although we promised our families we’d always be clean and classy in our blog posts, this post is an exception*

Has taking a crap ever saved your life?  Sure, anyone who has traveled abroad has had a glorious AHHHHH moment after making it to the toilet just in time.  But can a trip to the toilet really be life-saving?

Why the doubtful face?  Wait as I paint a picture…

The evening is winding down, I’m exhausted after a long day of meetings with VSO staff in Yaoundé on the organization’s vision for supporting its partners to become “learning organizations”.  I’m installed comfortably in the lofty heights (4th floor) of the Hotel Diplomat. I’m just about to call it a night, but get a last minute call to the doody station.

So, I’m sitting astride the oh-so-comfortable, but seatless, porcelain throne – minding my own business for a couple of minutes – when I hear a mighty crash.  My first thought is that the monkeys are playing on the balcony again and they’ve just chucked a coconut through the window.

Alas, nothing quite so amusing.

After quickly finishing what I had been doing, I wipe, flush, wash my hands and then peer out the bathroom door.  My eyes are momentarily blinded by a million shards of glass shimmering on the tile floor.

But the window is not broken.

Instead I find that the glass littering the room is the shattered remains of the Kristel (a new Chinese trademark?) light fixture that once illuminated the stately room.  Sadly, it concluded that being incessantly turned on was not the life it wanted.  Thus it began a final swan dive that ended on the wooden bed-frame that – until I heeded “the call” – had been my resting place.

Had I not crapped – had I chosen instead to rest, the bed could have become my final resting place and this tale would not have been written.  At the very least I would have been worse for wear.

Therefore, please do not doubt me when I say that a dump can indeed save your life.

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~ by Greg Spira on December 22, 2009.

6 Responses to “scared shitless – the dump that saved my life”

  1. Holy shit!

  2. All i can say is that I’m glad you sent this blog BEFORE my birthday !

    How did the hotel management respond ?

  3. Holy shit, Greg.

  4. Greg,
    My god, that sounds scary. It is also funny but could have been tragic. You must be doing something right to escape the falling chandelier. I didnt’ realize active bowels could be lifesaving as well as biologically necessary.
    Keep the stories coming.
    Michael

  5. Holy shit!! That is all can say amigo.

  6. holy crappin’ moly!!! When you gotta go, you OUGHTTA go! Be careful over there, they don’t make Chinese junk like they used to, er… Yes they do actually, so be careful!

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