no dishes tonight, dear

You think you have heard all before, right? But, you surely haven’t heard this one:

I don’t do dishes after dark because it’s harmful to my health.

Yeah… that’s right.  I’d much rather leave dishes undone than stand outside in the courtyard washing plates in the dark. To do otherwise invites ferocious blood-sucking, malaria-carrying mosquitoes to bite my ankles.  And since our bug repellent supply is more precious than Greg’s stash of Twizzlers, you may begin to understand: the dishes can wait!

Our fountain of life

Why outside, you wonder?  Simple: the fountain of life that is our waterspout is in the courtyard.  Mind you, so is the kitchen.  Nine months of perfecting this household modus operandi has lead to a dramatic increase in our acceptance and appreciation for the critter kind.

Except for mosquitoes.  Still loathe their presence on the planet.

The geckos are a joy.  Early on, there were large colourful ones doing push-ups in the sun.  And now, for reasons unknown, a miniature reptilian paradise has appeared.  Much smaller geckos have taken up residence – some littler than your little finger with a bright electric blue tail.  Would take a picture, but those little guys are fast!

Too cute.  Wish they would eat more mosquitoes.

Do cockroaches ever feast on mosquitoes?  I am desperately looking for a redeeming quality to these fat suckers bigger than a Canadian loonie who insist on taking over our courtyard every time we travel.  Granted we are on the road a lot, but that is no reason for them to move in!

one of the suntanning cuties

We fed a cockroach to a lizard once.  Took him an hour to get it down and all night to digest.  Finally had to dislodge him from

the screen door where he was catatonically perched so I could get out.  Wonder if lizards burp.

One morning, a two-dozen strong army of these ugly buggers came scurrying from the crack below the waterspout.  This veritable coup d’état we soon crushed like any good courtyard dictatorship would.  Another good reason not to do dishes, I would say, but I digress.

Hotel Spira is much like Hotel California, you can check in any time you want, but you can never leave… alive!

Greg is good at chasing, stomping and general hunting.  He’s determined and entertaining all at once.  I, on the other hand, try to hold the shrieking down to a minimum when in polite company. I’ve been a little apprehensive of their presence ever since I had one crawl up my pants.

If only cockroaches ate the mosquitoes…  I might be willing to be more accommodating.  Though I absolutely refuse to share my pants with any of them.  EVER.

a colourful visitor

Ants are OK.  Their teamwork in carrying cockroach carcasses to their anthill is impressive.  Unfortunately, they are unreliable as far as scheduled removal services go.  And ants do nothing to control the mosquito population.

We’ve had other courtyard visitors, of course: crickets, grasshoppers, beetles and a bunch of unidentified creepy crawlies.  A rather cheeky little grasshopper even decided to jump into bed with us.  We promptly chased him out.  This blog is by two volunteers “beneath the mosquito net” – it’s not a threesome!

The Great Outdoors is big enough for us all.  Except mosquitoes.  No room for them.

It’s been said: “If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.”  Nor have you ever done dishes in our courtyard at nightfall.

Reason enough to let the dishes sit and pick up a good book instead.

Serious note:  malaria-carrying mosquitoes are most active at twilight and during the night.  During the rainy season they are a fierce and formidable force.  Hence the precautions: faithfully taking anti-malarials, staying inside in early evening, lathering on the bug repellent and sleeping under the mosquito net.  Unfortunately it’s not always enough.

Not so serious note: Getting malaria really sucks.  Ask Greg – aka Malaria Boy.  He knows… hence he now has the most valid excuse ever for not doing dishes – at least at night.  So much for the sharing of household duties.

Final note: I sincerely hate mosquitoes. And I’m not too keen on doing dishes either.

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~ by Caroline Spira on August 11, 2010.

4 Responses to “no dishes tonight, dear”

  1. I echo your feelings for mosquitoes and add my own distaste of pigeons who seem to only live to shit on people walking under bridges and overpasses. Cute photos!

  2. Maman ne ferait pas la vaisselle elle non plus. car elle a peur des lézards,et toute les moustiques.

  3. i don’t do the dishes either, and i have no excuses.

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